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sandandglass:

Me.

gayathrik1611:

Updated post from the one I did ages ago

• He was Red Rum’s (famous 1970’s horse, for those who don’t know) stableboy. 
• His parents told him his dog was dead, when it was actually in Scunthorpe. 
• He was taught to be a bingo caller.
• He has been attacked by a snake charmer and his snake. 
• He once picked up a hitch-hiker and scared him so much he cried. 
• He got juggling lessons so that he could impress his son.  
• He managed to keep his car running for two months by cracking an egg into it every day. 
• There was a saying is his old school that ‘if Lee Mack can pass his Geography O-Level, anyone can’.
• When he was six, he was thrown out of ballroom dancing lessons. 
• He trained for the Paris Marathon but pulled out when his doctor advised him that one of his legs is shorter than the other. 
• He once had to show his boss an ‘intimate part of his body’ to prove why he was late for work. 
• When he’s at home, he amuses himself by shaving half of his face and pretends to be two people having a conversation. 
• He once helped his mum and dad look for something they’d lost using a Ouija board. 
• He spent a entire year making just one small keyring in his plastic work’s class.

• He used twins for his tryout spot at the Hackney Empire to convince the audience he could teleport people. (Twins Rob and Will were the mystery guests)
• He donated his dibber to the British Lawnmower Museum.

• He used a bum double for a scene in Not Going Out. 

• He shaved a beard that he had being growing for weeks because he didn’t want David to think he was copying him. 
• He got stuck in a men’s toilet for half an hour because he couldn’t find the door. 

nuclearoverreactor:

Courtney’s Comedy Countdown
↳ 6 Favorite Panel Shows: Would I Lie To You (2/6)

But what if Victoria went on WILTY again? 

• Rob: So what do you think, David? Is it a truth, or is it a lie?
• David: Hmm I don't know let me just CONSULT MY WIFE

Please remember that Thursday’s episode of WILTY may or may not be broadcast depending on the result of tonight’s football match. 

heatburg:

fyeahwouldilietoyou:

WILTY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FUCKING FOOTBALL.

Would I Lie to You: David’s truths (Series 1-5) 

gayathrik1611:

1. Aged 5, he wrote to Playskool to suggest how the BBC should resolve their union conflict. 
2. When he was 23, he had to talk his way out of a fight with a paper boy. 
3. He believes disaster will occur if he doesn’t adhere to his special alarm clock system. 
4. His first word was ‘Hoover’. 
5. He had received only one gift from a fan- which was bundle of socks.
6. When he was little, he used to dress himself as an 18th century nobleman. 
7. As a child as his grandparent’s house, he had a little bell that he would ring if he wanted anything. 
8. The screensaver on his phone is a photo of his living room carpet. 
9. The only concert he has ever been to was by Shirley Bassey. 
10. He had to prize his door open for the last two years, ever since the door handle fell off.  
11. His driver refuses to drink pints because his hands are too small (Driver Paul was the ‘This is My’ guest). 
12. As a child, he had a special way of communicating with Captain Kirk in Star Trek episodes. 
13. He has a special travel dressing gown, and is the one item he always packs when he goes on holiday. 
14. When he was 12, he saved up all his pocket money to buy a boat he never used. 
15. His parents forced him to have a new kitchen fitted because his flat embarrassed them. 

catbushandludicrous:

catbushandludicrous:

the-dark-tourist:

WILTY clip from the new series 6x03…. nice to see Miranda & Lee are on the same team again :)